2003-06-26 / 1:04 p.m.

(if only no one knew my name...)

i'm trying to get home but find myself sitting in the bed of a pick-up truck in the driveway of someone's house on a bright, fall day - the kind where the sun is filtered through the dying leaves to create a sparkle of gold and amber and bronze.

I go inside and walk to the back bedroom of this stranger's house. Their bed reminds me of my grandparents - high off the ground and covered with thick blankets and pillows. I am suddenly weak with exhaustion and freezing - shivering. I fall asleep but it is a fitful, aching sleep.

GB finds me there - I don't know how. I wake up when he enters the room. I start crying. My whole body aches and I'm freezing. He walks over and touches my skin - but you're burning up he says, worried.

I can't stop crying. I just want him to hold me.

last night ... tonight