2002-05-19 / 4:52 p.m.

(a perfect day to chase...)

I knew it wasn't right from the beginning. It couldn't be. It was GB who gave me the newspaper with the article saying he had died.

JW.

Suicide.

Last November.

No, that's not right, I told him. Not him.

How could he? Not him...not this dreamer of my dreams who knows the path I'm on because he's always been several steps ahead of me?

Yes, I see the pain in his eyes, I know the hurt in his voice and the wondering in his words...but I also know of the life he's trying to live.

Life hasn't always been good to him, yet he still believes in that which doesn't always believe in him...

It just isn't right.

When I woke up, I sat up in bed and thought for a few seconds as my head shifted from sleep into waking.

And then I breathed a deep, deep sigh of relief and sadness.

And the first thing GB said to me when I told him what I had dreamt?

No, not JW, he said. He loves life too much ....

And that is what is right.

Somehow, I'm sure, he could never leave me behind...

last night ... tonight